Grappling With Reality

Naivety imprisoned me as I entered into my new world. I was learning, I wanted to learn, but I was captured by my thoughts, my opinions, my ideals. My privilege insulated me. Propaganda deceived me. My anxiety captured me. My faith needed strength and courage to question and have the guts to walk into the dark and destitute places. 

Ever since I remember, I was an irritant that questioned the status quo, challenged the high places, distrusted politics and could never understand the vicious and evil inequality that has always surrounded me. Seeing all the injustice and inequality tormented my young mind. I knew it wasn't right! In my restlessness, I knew Jesus must be grieving and wondering how I could faithfully and courageously step into this unjust world with my faith.

I had a major problem though, I lacked courage! I was scared! I needed strength! I was battling depression! My anxiety had taken me captive! I was crippled by my shyness and social anxiety!

Into this unrest, I attended a church, and have parents, who instilled in me a deep love and respect for the Word of God, teaching me that the “truth will set me free”.

Into this unrest, I attended a Bible College, where I learned about our God, who proclaimed how he hates and despises our religious festivals and assemblies when we don't "let justice roll down like a river and righteousness like an ever-flowing stream". I studied about Jesus, and how he embraced and ate with tax collectors and sinners, while viciously challenging the religious thugs and political gangsters, who used their power and privilege to have him savagely executed under a corrupt and bias criminal justice system. 

Into this unrest, I also drove a taxi, I worked the graveyard shift, where nightly, I couldn't escape the corruption, while also seeing so much beauty. I saw the equality of evil, combined with the inequality of punishment and judgment. In other words, I saw all engage in forms of abuse and violence, but I saw how some were deemed unforgivable, while others were forgiven and embraced. I saw who was lifted up and who was brought low. I saw who was imprisoned and who was free.

In this unrest, I also started doing prison ministry, and amongst all the maximum-security inmates I was privileged to meet, I witnessed God’s loving compassion in all the pain and beauty, strength and weaknesses, loneliness and community that encompassed those behind bars.

Into all this unrest, I relentlessly saw magical acts of kindness, love, and generosity by those deemed the "dregs of society". Hope and beauty shone in the communities that have often been written off and seen as hopelessly irredeemable. As the media scorned them as forsaken neighborhoods, I was blessed to see beauty and redemption. 

Into this unrest, I summoned up an ounce of courage and took a leap of faith. I ventured out of beautiful Aotearoa and traveled to the great city of Chicago, where I’ve now lived for over 20 years. I went, asking myself, how could I graduate from this “head knowledge” and let everything I’d seen morph into real deeds? How could I escape from this prison of naivety and timidity?

I didn't know that in working with and living with those experiencing homelessness my eyes would be opened in the most beautiful ways, that by entering into this kind of poverty I would be privileged to meet such a wide range of people and circumstances - all united under the strong bond of homelessness. Though often painful, I didn't know that all I'd been doing played a vital role in getting me ready for now. That leap of faith has taken me down paths I never thought I’d travel. Over the years, how could my faith not be challenged? My faith couldn’t settle, it needed me to ask, how do we love, how do we advocate, how we fight for all these wonderful people? 

Homelessness is a unifier, it brings all walks of life together under a common bond, under one roof! Our cafeteria buzzes daily with colorful eclectic chaos. It’s a beautiful sight, seeing all the compassion, generosity, and uniqueness. Even though it’s peaceful, I gaze upon all the endless challenges that confront us! Challenges I can’t ignore, the injustice I can't escape, and the inequality that screams at me must be confronted! Underlying all the beauty is deep pain and oppression that must be addressed on both compassionate and systemic levels. Faith pleads for a response! Love calls us to act! 

Jesus tells us he is hungry, thirsty, naked, sick, imprisoned, and the stranger in his parable of the “Sheep and the Goats”. Homelessness, our cafeteria, our shelter, unifies everything Jesus mentions here. He tells us to respond. He tells us to embrace. He tells us to reach out. He asks us to be a voice for the voiceless while weeping with those who weep. He asks us to fight against mass incarceration while visiting those in prison. He asks us to fight against housing discrimination and gentrification while helping our brothers and sisters find housing. He doesn’t tell us to hide or ignore. He says love your neighbor as yourself. He says, “as you’ve done it to the least of these, you’ve done it to me!” 

  

Love says it doesn’t matter who you are, you are my neighbor and worthy of love! Jesus, through his bloody death and glorious resurrection, revealed how the poor and the “least” are rich and honored in His Kingdom. Homelessness is full of those the world has savagely condemned and cast aside, but also those who Jesus has lovingly forgiven and embraced, for “the first shall be last, and the last first”. 

Our cafeteria laments and celebrates as it tells countless stories. It begs us not to reject but to lovingly embrace all equally and without prejudice, fighting for their rights while walking through their valleys with them. 

A 77-year-old veteran slowly limps in and finds his seat. Despite serving his country, he can't get his benefits or housing because of "red-tape" and a technicality. He waits. His health isn't good, so love calls us to fight for his benefits while making sure he's fed, clothed, has a bed, and is visited in his frequent trips to the hospital. 

A young father and his daughter wander in and find their seats. Their story tells of an incarcerated mother and drawn-out custody battles, making housing and employment difficult. They wait. Love begs us to advocate for them so permanent housing will one day be possible, despite the ongoing gentrification. It also makes sure they have their own room to sleep in, food to eat, and transportation to get to his new job.

A black trans woman sits quietly by herself. She's faced a life of reoccurring incarceration, homelessness, discrimination, bullying, and suicidal tendencies. The bruises and scars on her face and arms reveal her pain and the fact that all odds and statistics are stacked against her. She waits. Love doesn’t turn a cold shoulder, but walks with her, fights for her, embraces her, and lets her know she’s valuable while making sure she’s safe, clothed, fed, and visited in her trips to hospitals. 

A refugee family timidly eats what's not normal for them. They’re learning English and trying to adjust to a new culture after being traumatized for years and having to escape oppression and torture. They wait. Love helps them find asylum, get visas and other important documents while making sure they’re safe, fed, and clothed as they find a place to live. 

A middle-aged woman dressed in professional attire walks in. She has a Ph.D. She works and can't understand what's happened. In her mind, she thinks she's better and not like the other people in the cafeteria. In frustration, she waits. Love helps her adjust while giving her a bed, food, and transportation.

A young fashionable athletic man confidently strolls in. His tattoos reveal his artistic ability and gang affiliations. His past is one of rotating in-and-out of jail. He's trying to change, but he's constantly being stopped and frisked by the police. His look and rap sheet prevent him from housing and employment. He waits. Love helps him fight for freedom and hope, love forgives and reassures him as the world doesn’t, while he’s given food, clothing, and somewhere to rest. 

A parolee sits at his table, distressed and perplexed. He knows that felony is unforgiving. In prison, his ongoing mental illness caused him to spend much of his time in solitary confinement. As a result, it's so hard for him to be around people and start afresh, but he has to endure and wait. Love helps him to see a therapist and get his medications, love requires we fight for housing and health clinics not to be shut down because of gentrification, while giving him a bed, clothing, food, and someone to listen to about his trauma. 

A family of eight, with children ranging from teenagers to a newborn, stand in line. They're doing their best, but this is a new experience for them. They're homeless because of a fire and no family members would take them all in. The mother works, but they got to start again as all their documents weren't burnt up and their kids are about to start new schools. They look tired and wait. Love helps them get into schools and know their rights while providing them with a room, clothing, food, transportation, and the way to get their IDs.

An overly dressed sick woman stumbles into the cafeteria, mumbling to herself with a musty smell of old alcohol and bad body odor. Her story screams of tragedies and abuse. She's a victim and a perpetrator. She struggles with the "bottle", the pipe, countless arrests, and mental illness. She waits. Love helps find the assistance (mentally and physically) she desperately needs, love advocates for her despite the prejudice she faces daily, love calls for the "housing first" and "harm reduction" principles to be fought for, while the bed, clothing, and food she gets helps protect her from the people, places, and things that are trying to devour her. 

When I gaze upon everyone in our diverse cafeteria, there's nothing fake about it, as all these cultures, personalities, genders, and races come together under one roof. Their stories are real. Their struggles are real. Their oppression is real. Their unity is real. It's a beautiful and redemptive sight. Our responsibility when grappling with this reality is to LOVE each and every person with the love as Jesus, as everyone who wanders in is special and unique, loved by Jesus, chosen by Him, and invited to eat a feast at His banquet table.